One of the most divine love is the relationship between a parent and a child. This relationship takes nothing but always gives you more, But what if the parents turn toxic?
What if you come to know that it is true many children face emotional abuse worldwide! The hurtful words and comments seem to be not a big job to deal with, but for some, they are painful memory of their lifetime.
These hurtful comments, when coming from parents, causes psychological and emotional damage that is detrimental to a lot of people, especially their children.
Parents are the ones who shape your personality and develop your self-esteem.
So, how would you know that your parents can be toxic?
Parents, especially Indian parents, are judgemental about every single thing you do. In our lifetime, we certainly would have come across some common phrases used by our parents, like: “How dark-skinned you are, neither your mum nor I am as dark as you. Who would marry you?”
“You are too short or fat to have an ideal/good personality.”
These are hurtful remarks coming from our parents. Even if they do it unintentionally somewhere, it leaves an impact on our minds.
It leads to our first sign of toxic parents:
Comments on the body look:
The bad commenting from parents can cause a child to be insecure about his appearance, which leads to disorders like eating and sleeping disorders.
Parents, on the contrary, should teach their child to love himself no matter how he looks.
Provocative questions towards actions:
Second on the list is consistently poking on every bit of habit like, ” why do you act so weird?”, “Why are you behaving like that?”
The fact that children believe everything their parents say, these sarcastic comments make them feel that they are something less and starts to question themselves. It leads to a phobia of presenting themselves around new people.
Their wishes are your ‘burden’:
We hear parents saying that I want my child to become like this, “My child should only become a doctor because we could not afford to study, we want him to make whatever we wants.”
The assertive nature of the parents leads to discomfort in the life of a child. He starts compromising with his passion and aims for his parents.
Living in a space where you are not happy may lead to depression.
When parents say, “I wish you were not born!”, “I wish you were a son not a daughter”, “You are a burden on us.” These remarks are highly destructive to somebody’s mind. The child starts to question himself and makes him feel unworthy.
Parents should always love their children irrespective of gender, color, size, etc.
There are instances where parents compare you with your siblings or somebody else’s child saying, they are better than you!
It reduces the self-esteem of a child substantially, making them feel they will never be good enough! No matter how hard they try.
Comparing siblings with one another creates unhealthy relationships between them, leading to jealousy and resentment towards each other.
Each sibling should have equal rights to provide them independent identities.
Parents tend to bribe their children by saying, “If you do this, I will buy you this.” “If you will top the exams, i will give you whatever you want,” but they don’t do it. When the parent makes promises that they don’t keep, it breaks the child’s faith. It makes them feel betrayed. It generates trust issues in their child, and they could hardly trust anyone outside.
Physical abuse or Verbal abuse both have an exhausting impact on the mind of a child. Childhood is the most essential period of life. Whatever way we teach them, whatever they go through, shapes their personality for the future.
So, the parent must be conscious enough.
There is a thin line between saying things for a child’s well-being ad turning it into abuse.